just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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