it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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