you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This beer is not sobering me up at all
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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