I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
