Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
