So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
