Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
one two three fourrrrnication!
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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