My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
