I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
