soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
