i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
