you guys were way drunker than both of me
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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