i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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