Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
