do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
There's always time for handjobs
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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