Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
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If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
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Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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