But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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