yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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