Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize