I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I wish they made helmets for livers.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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