he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
