Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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