I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
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We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
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I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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