We named our party play list daddy issues
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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