Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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