Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
