I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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