Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
from now on my penis is your penis
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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