i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
