well you can't waste a boner
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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