I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
