hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
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To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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