He disabled his match.com account in front of me
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
