So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
