We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
