Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
