Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize