she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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