Someone shit on the floor
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
