I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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