This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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