.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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