dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
