i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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