I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
