Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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