Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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