help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
