3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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