Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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