I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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