So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
