I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She needs sedatives and a leash
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
