I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
