if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize