I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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