You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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