eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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