Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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