I've blown a few things in my day
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
